The Average Blogger

Doldrums

This week had even less to offer than last week in terms of bloggable noteworthiness. I'm not sure it's worth the time I'm taking to type.  But I have committed, so let's see what there is. 

On Monday, I got notes back from a beta reader on my book.  I then proceeded to pull an all-nighter addressing most of them and making notes of things I need to do to address the rest. The good news is, I think I'm going to have a book of respectable length now.  The bad news is, I was very tired.

The rest of the week was split between my own book and my job obligations, with a couple moments of parenting thrown in for appearance's sake.  Not Your Average Blogger picked up my slack admirably, as usual, and didn't seem to mind terribly. I think the Young Prince is doing reasonably well. He hit a stumbling block in math, partly lack of comprehension, partly obstinance, but I think we have cleared it out of hte way. We did get a report that he's been a bit cranky, but I think the extended snow absences from school may have cleared that up.  At least, I haven't heard anything from his teachers directly.  

This is the last week of inactivity for a while, though.  In the next two months there are only 3 weekends that someone isn't out of town. I am not sure what this will do to my blogging schedule. Stand by to find out! 

Hibernation

It is weeks like this past one that remind me why I did such a terrible job of blogging last year. There simply isn't much to discuss.  

As already reported, Monday was a holiday for everyone but me.  Not Your Average Blogger and the Young Prince got some homework done, ran a couple errands. Tuesday was a snow day and even my office was closed.  We all stayed home, the house got cleaned, and the snowblower got its first (successful) tryout. 

Wednesday, school was closed again.  I did not come out from under my laptop all day, between working on work and working on my book.  

Thursday, there was a two-hour delay for school.  About 30 minutes before he was supposed to leave, the YP was violently ill, and we dithered on whether he ought to go. (I was opposed. He was steadfastly in favor of showing up, which I find equal parts suspicious and charming.)  As it turned out, he went, and he was fine. Which was good, because...

Friday was another snow day, for reasons I do not understand.  I suppose it was rather cold to be waiting for the bus. For those of you keeping score, that means that the kid went to school for a whopping five hours this week. 

Then, on Saturday, it actually DID snow, several inches.  NYAB and the YP went to the kid's bowling league, and I slalomed to the grocery store, which was packed not only with blizzard panickers, but also with miles and miles of dollies with crates, because Saturdays are Shelf-Restocking Day at Giant.  Does this make sense to anyone?  Why not, like, 3 a.m. Wednesdays?  Is this part of the new streamlined economy?  I find it bewildering even on nice days.  In a snowstorm? With women's parkas dripping on the floor and musclebound lunkheads maneuvering giant carts of paper towels, it devolved into downright comical. 

So, after these ill-advised outings, everyone got home and we all hunkered down in the warmest room of the house with all the junk food we could eat and all the TV we could watch. It was a perfectly lovely day, although I always feel moderately guilty for not getting more done when they are over. This did not stop me from repeating the activity Sunday—we all woke up around lunchtime and I went out and conducted the snowblower's second test (45 degrees, heavier wet snow and about 6 inches of it) and was delighted to be done in less than an hour. I do find it amusing, however, that as soon as we buy a machine to do a job, the job somehow becomes mine for all time.  I am determined that this will not be the case and that the YP will be on the hook for this, but I am not sure my heart can take watching him zigzag his way up the hill and struggle halfway down the cul de sac before he gets the thing turned around, and then zigzag his way back down the driveway blowing snow over the part he already cleared, etc.  I suppose I should lighten up. 

But at least we all did spend a little while outdoors and get some sun and some warmth.  If I were 20 years younger, 50 lbs lighter, and unencumbered, yesterday would have been an absolutely perfect day for skiing. I sort of miss that, and I feel sorry for the YP that his parents are such slugs that we will not take him, but given his dislike of Fast Things and his general discombobulation with physical activity, it might be just as well that we stay home. 

The one significant thing we did accomplish (if you can call it that) is that we finished the first season of House of Cards.  I don't know what to make of this show.  I don't know if I want to keep watching.  I don't like any of the characters and a fair amount of it leaves me unable to suspend my disbelief to the degree required because it is so silly/illegal/transparently foolish. We got Seasons 1 and 2 as gifts, however, so we will probably watch for that reason. Not sure we'll go past that, though.

And now we are into another week of work, starting with a two-hour school delay.  La. I do not like the chaos of winter; it throws off all my routines and I inevitably forget to do things like give the kid his vitamins, check his allowance/chores list, make sure the ironing is done... Bleah.  How long til spring?  

 

I Got Plenty of Nuthin'

It's weeks like this one that just concluded that are tough for me to blog about -- not because bad things happened, but because so little happened.  I had more work than hours to do it; ditto for Not Your Average Blogger. The bathroom remodel continues apace (tile is in but not grouted) and might be done by next weekend.  The kid plodded through another week of school. The one good thing is that our snowblower purchase seems to be working its mojo so far -- no snow since we put it together.  That's supposed to change Monday, though. 

There were two amusing things that happened.  First, I made it a point this week to drink a different kind of soda each morning instead of my usual defaults.  Having done so, I remember why I had defaults.  Grape soda is overpowering. Orange soda isn't bad, but I like it better watered down with lots of ice.  Strawberry soda is like fizzy liquid Jello. Cream soda is even less thirst-quenching than other sugar drinks. And Cheerwine? I can't even figure out what's up with that.  It's like Dr. Pepper for people who say they don't like Dr. Pepper. I didn't see the point.  So, yeah.  Next week I'll try the flavored waters and see where that gets me. 

The more amusing thing is that today the Young Prince and I went to Rebounderz.  For the uninitiated, this is basically a setup where you bounce around in a room that is entirely trampoline. We spent an hour jumping around and I liked it quite a bit (more than the kid did, I suspect.)  But it was fun enough for both of us that we are talking about going back tomorrow and we have managed to find another exercise option for the next few months when we cannot stand the idea of running around outside. They have a lot of rules, which is understandable.  My problem was that the squares were kind of small, and I have gotten rather fat and don't tuck up as compactly as I used to, so I lacked confidence to try a full flip landing on my feet, but did several landing on my ass, which greatly amused the mom of the other kid we were there with. I am pleased to report that after the first two, I didn't get quite as dizzy, and I rather think I could make this my three-a-week exercise regimen, so maybe by the time summer rolls around I'll be in decent bouncy form. 

Don't hold me to it, however. I'm sure I'll find a bazillion other things I Really Need to Do with that time. Hopefully one of that bazillion will make for more interesting blog fodder than this!  

Big Developments

Well, it's been a couple weeks and a couple thousand dollars, but I have much to report! 

1: We did, indeed, get a new washer.  The basement has not flooded since, I'm happy to report. I'm even happier to report that king-size bedspreads fit in the new washer without any trouble at all, which makes me very happy. 

2: Because that wasn't enough expense for a week, we made a down payment on a timeshare and membership at a resort fairly close to us.  It has a water park, golf course, skiing, hiking, trail rides, several pools and exercise rooms, a zip line, etc., etc.  And the condos are gorgeous.  We signed on for a one-bedroom, the floorplan of which has a giant jacuzzi tub in the bedroom and a queen-size foldout couch in the living room for the kid.  It is way awesome.  And the best part is you can make exchanges with sister resorts if you want; you aren't constrained to going to the same place the same week year after year. I'm very excited. 

3: We switched the Young Prince to a different doctor and drug regimen.  It's been an amazing change. He's been more cheerful, more laid back, more pliable — really, just more fun to be around. I sort of hate saying that, because he was fun to be around before. But with fewer things setting him off, everyone has relaxed a bit, I think.  He started math camp this week and loves it as much as he did last year. I haven't checked how far up the grade scale this camp goes, but I'd love to send him every year through calculus if they have it. He actually begged me to leave him at aftercare this week, which was a big change from drama camp the week before, when they couldn't wait to get rid of him and he couldn't wait to leave.  

And now, a funny story: 

The first day of math camp, I picked the kid up and one of the instructors comes up to me. He's about 800 lbs and pasty and I swear my whole body might fit in his big gut. And he starts in, "So your son and I were talking ...." 

Summertime, and the Living is Crazy

So last Sunday we dropped the Young Prince off for a week of sleepaway camp.  He got to build a dam, go canoeing, tie-dye a shirt, paint a rock, eat food he didn't like, and write one letter home.  I think he had a pretty good time and might go back next year. 

In his absence, we got a fair amount of work done. Not Your Average Blogger did a lot of writing. I did some writing, some editing, and got caught up on all the work at my paying job.  We also got some trees cut down, the riding mower fixed, and a roof cap put on our furnace vent -- a timely repair, since Superstorm Sandy blew the last one off. We also moved some bookshelves around and the house and the YP has a little more room to grow his collection. 

We also ate at three restaurants (and thanks to departing pals Pam and Richard, discovered a wonderful Vietnamese place called Four Sisters), saw two movies (World War Z and Much Ado About Nothing), and went to one ballgame (Nats lost to D'backs).  It was fun, but it was also nice to pick up the kid and find out he didn't have a completely miserable week on his own in the mountains.  

So he's home for about five hours, which means that in about three hours he'll be hopping back into the car and driving to Tennessee with NYAB for a boys road trip.  They are going to see mountains and waterfalls and Gatlinburg and who knows what all.  I am going to see a clean house, a shaped-up yard, and at least one bottle of wine, as well as dinner with a friend Monday and probably the Toyota fellows for an oil change on Tuesday.  Wednesday we are going to another ballgame, Thursday is the Fourth, and Friday we are packing for a weeklong trip to the beach.

My god, you'd think we had lives or something.   

Fluff and Fold, Buddy*

I was flitting around on Twitter yesterday, and paused on a comment from some intellectual snob I'm following: "Who cares about Paula Deen and Kanyedashian? #goreadabook." 

I think this person was a literary agent, and I think I need to put her at the bottom of my list to query, because I don't think I would do well with such a humorless bit of dried-up stuff. 

To paraphrase Tom Lehrer: We know what's really involved. Schadenfreude is fun. Also, it's much easier to make fun of someone's name than it is to wrap your head around the behavior and motivations of someone like Edward Snowden. Ask any second-grader.

I spent a good half hour making West name jokes with Not Your Average Blogger. I also spent a half-hour arguing with him over the benefits of owning vs. leasing. Which would you rather read about?  

I have yet another reason for it -- for a long time, I was contractually bound to avoid expressing opinions on anything that could be construed to have a political angle. It was a sound policy, and something that has grown into a good habit. I have no idea if my current employer would frown upon me espousing my views on the Arab Spring or the immigration overhaul, but it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to write about them anyway. There are plenty of pundits who are paid to spout their opinions, and they do a much better and more lucid job of it than I would.

So I stick with Fluff, and I Fold on the real issues. And I'm good with that. 

(*The title of this post is from a scene in one of my favorite guilty-pleasure movies.  The scene has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand, but I hated to miss an opportunity to use it.)

So what's going on in my world? Aside from my opinions on the Iranian election and the farm bill? I'm glad you asked. 

Last Sunday we celebrated Father's Day by going to the Red Sox-Orioles game at Camden Yard. Sox lost, and I got a bit sunburnt because I believed the weather forecast that was calling for rain. But it was a fun outing anyway, and it amuses me no end that the YP is coming around and getting invested in the outcome of the game. 

This week marked the end of fourth grade for the Young Prince. He escaped with all As and Bs, and all satisfactory conduct marks.  You guys, I don't know when or if the other shoe is going to drop in this and what kind of horrible long-term consequences may occur, but for now I'm a huge convert to better living through chemistry. The YP started out as a pretty amazing human being, and those drugs have really made a huge difference in him being able to let other people see it. It's very obvious in some ways on a daily basis, but looking at long-term markers like report cards really drives it home for me. 

(That said, I'm all too familiar with how very irritating the zeal of the newly converted can be. I've had plenty of friends who went into therapy and insisted EVERYONE NEEDS IT, or converted to veganism and insisted NOBODY SHOULD EVER EAT MEAT, or got on a fitness kick and JUDGED MY FAT ASS. Hey, to each his own.  I'm thrilled they found a thing to make them happy, and I'm willing to read their proselytizing on social media.  But the minute they start in on what I should do? I will drop them like a hammer on a nail. And so we move on.)

While I went to work, the YP and NYAB had a good week goofing off, hiking, playing golf. NYAB also got a fair bit of freelance work done and the YP finished two creative assignments for me (five non-golf uses for a driver, and writing a commercial for a product of his choosing. He chose "books for the blind and/or deaf"—you will probably not be surprised to learn that braille never entered the matter; he had his own solutions.) 

On Thursday, I stayed in town after work and went to a party celebrating the completion of a book that I freelanced on for my old job, and then went out for dinner with Angela. I have to tell you, Miss A. has pretty much become one of my best most kindred spirits in the world. I don't get to see her nearly enough and it's always so much fun when we do manage to coordinate in-person apperances that involve food and mockery and wide-ranging discussions of everything.  Miss A. is embarking on some new adventures, and I'm so so so happy for her that it made this particular outing even more enjoyable. Even NYAB commented on it when I got home. "You should really do that more often. You come home so happy and cheerful."  

Today is a day of rest, and then tomorrow we take the YP for his first-ever foray into sleepaway camp.  Comment if you want the address to send him a letter.   He will be gone for a week. It feels like a long time. I suspect he will not see it that way, however. And I further suspect that NYAB and I will find ways to fill our hours. 

Plus, it may be that I won't see the YP for even longer than that—if the fates align, NYAB might go pick him up from camp and they will embark on a Boys Only road trip for a few days. I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, I am a little jealous and want to go too, and more than a little ugghed out that it will be more time away from the YP. (I like him, y'all. What can I say?) But! On the other hand! Oh my god, yes, please, go, the idea of four days with the house all to myself to do whatever I want whenever I want without feeling like I have to work around bedtimes or TV viewing or whatever sounds like heaven. 

And after that, we are all spending a week together at the beach.  And boy, you have NO idea how much I'm looking forward to that. It's going to be beer and lemonade and naps and leisure the whole time. 

Only two weeks to get through first! 

Wow. Two months already?

I guess in the scope of years, two months isn't very much. But it feels like a long time.  So much for developing the habit of writing here regularly.  Maybe I need to set 600 alarms on the iPhone. Every time it dings at me, I have to write a blog post, or write a chapter, or walk a mile, or knit six rows, or eat a salad. I need to go back to preschool, where every moment is accounted for and policed.

That mourned, I am getting a lot done.  I've edited 2 slideshows for my dad.  I edited a proposal for Not Your Average Blogger. I am editing my seventh (seventh!) Politics in America.  I have to figure I'm one of a very small number of people who have read that many of them cover-to-cover in a row. Probably single digits. I'm probably among the most informed yet least knowledgable voters on earth, because as soon as I read these books, I forget what they say.  I'm not sure why that is.

I've also pushed to get the house in good shape for warm weather. I paid a posse of rednecks to clean the gutters, waterproof the deck, caulk the windows and power wash the house.  I planted some new perennials.  I cleaned up the flowerbed and mowed and dumped mulch in assorted places that need mulch. And yet, there's still so much to do.  Another month of weekends and I'll be caught up -- in time to start over!  I'm very happy with the deck, though. I'm adding plants there slowly but surely, and hoping they are hardy enough to live through winter and come back again next year. 

Last weekend I powerwashed the sidewalks and places the rednecks ignored. I also burned a big hole in my leg when I somehow didn't notice the grate had fallen off the air intake of the washer and picked it up to move it. If I'm lucky, I'll have a nice paisley-shaped scar to remind me forever.  This past weekend, I busted up my hands on the chipper-shredder as I wiped out about half the stuff the rednecks left behind as too small for their industrial shredder.

In the fun stuff?  Lots of fun stuff.  I turned 42 and after all but one invitee ditched my party suggestion because my birthday was the day before Easter, we said screw it and went to Atlantic City.  Didn't win anything, but had a lot of fun on the boardwalk and beach. I also got lots of cool swag (books! movies! money!  Oh my!), including a collection of all the James Bond movies from start to Skyfall.  We're watching one every Friday night, so the Young Prince will be fully versed in all things Bond by the time he hits fifth grade. He's also reading the books, which amuses me no end. At one point he told me he was reading them to some second-grader on his bus, "but don't worry, I'm editing out the swear words."  I wonder if he's editing out the sex.

Last weekend, we took a tour of the summer camp where we are sending the YP for a week.  It's a nice place. I want to go.  Zip line, mountain biking, cabins... I think he'll have fun.  Maybe he'll eat something, too.I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do with all that free time.  Why do I suspect it will probably be "work"??

If past performance is an indicator, the week of his absence will also be the next time I post anything here.  So just in case, here are the upcoming events: Next weekend we are going to Hershey Park.  I reckon it will be about 40 degrees.  Just the perfect weather for roller coasters.  Shiver. And tonight, we are all ditching everything and going to a hockey game.  Excited about that; it's been a couple years since the last one. 

Happy spring, y'all!

 

Been a While

... and I have absolutely nothing to report And it's wonderful.

The kid is back in school, and with a couple small exceptions, he's done remarkably well. Good grades, all reports home are that he's getting along with the other kids, and so on.  No fights about homework. Still some smart-mouthing, but I am afraid the genetics are simply too deeply engrained on that score. Piano lessons continue apace. I'm wondering how long it'll take before he figures out that he can sing and play at the same time. So far he keeps putting me off as far as that request goes.

Work is chugging along. The material continues to be interesting, and I'm sure that any day now I'll go through a full project where I keep all the plates spinning.

We are doing a Midwest Tour for the holidays -- my family, NYAB's family, some friends. Looking forward to the break!

Happy holidays to all of you!

Not Really a Post, Not Really a Blow-Off.

I owe more to this blog than it's getting, I know that. And I have lots of excuses for not keeping up. 

One problem is that my biggest life absorptions at the moment are, well, deeply absorbing and take up LOTS of time.

Another problem is that those absorptions are extremely frustrating and not entirely my story to tell, and I'm still not sure what crosses a line and what doesn't. Here's the short version: Homeschooling is probably a wonderful and fulfilling endeavour when you sign on for it willingly and are well-prepared going in, and aren't obligated to try to keep pace to some degree with an existing classroom full of students that -- at least theoretically -- will eventually re-enter the picture.  But as a stopgap because of a fucked up school bureaucracy that seems to put everyone but the students first, it pretty much sucks. So, yeah. More on that later, maybe, after it's all sorted out and so am I. 

Work is work.  My boss has been incredibly gracious about dealing with the Aforementioned Academic Fucked-Up-edness.

NYAB's work is work.  To an outsider it all appears to be coming apart at the seams, but at this point I reckon he might as well ride it into the ground and see what he can get out of it, and then we'll move to an island that start with a B.

House, yard, money, all those grownup woes -- not so woe-like, but mildly distracting.

Election! Well, the debates have been fun.  And because of the AAFU-edness, the kid has been allowed to stay up and watch them all and learn a thing or two.  I'm not sure he's learned very much, and he tends to get distracted and bored, but then he circles around to listen some more, so that's been interesting.  If nothing else, he learned that it's Simpson-Bowles, not Bowles-Simpson, which is more than I can say for the candidates.

In my copious free time, I've decided to become a sweepstakes junkie.  I figure if I'm gonna spend all that time dorking around online, I might as well be dorking around with something that has 0.00002 percent chance of getting me something, as opposed to 0 percent.  And the kid likes to push buttons on some of the little interactive games, so it's a bonding thing! At least, that's my story.

Oh, and we finally watched Season Seven of Weeds. A big accomplishment.

And that's all I've got for now. 

Peaks and Troughs

Well, the last couple weeks have brought a bit of sturm und drang to ye olde Blogger household.  JB was felled by an affliction that required an ER visit and lots of drugs, but he's on the mend.  The boy has had some issues with school that required after-hours attention and bureaucratic paperwork nonsense, but we keep muddling on as best we can with all that. On Wednesday we have Part Two of the three-part ADHD-Or-What doctor assessment thang, so we'll see where that lands.

All that aside, we're all doing pretty well.  I'm still healthy and sane -- at least by comparison, so I guess that means I win.  None of us have been booted from our respective Daily Grind establishments, which is also good. The weather is lovely.  My yard is lovely. My house -- well, it is untidy, but that's what next weekend is for.

The big news since my last post is that my parents came to visit. And as far as I know, we all had a good time, which is nice.  Mom and I spent hours wandering around on various shopping expeditions, Mom and Dad went to a party on Saturday, I worked, JB worked, Thomas did all his homework, and he also took his first stab at mowing the lawn.  Admittedly, he's a tad unclear on the concept of mowing in nice, even rows and circles, so the result looked a bit like the work of a drunken midget, but when he hopped down and I explained it to him, he understood immediately.  Something to shoot for next time -- although I'm sort of fruitlessly hoping that "next time" will be next spring, not next weekend.  It's October, for pete's sake.

I'm also still debating whether to have a Halloween party.  We've done this every year since Thomas was in kindergarten, but I'm not sure why -- attendance has dwindled each year, and last year it snowed on the big day, which was a nasty deterrent. I'm just not sure it's worth it.  And unfortunately, I have to hurry up and decide -- it's October, for pete's sake!

Still, the only thing I feel like I am consistently falling down on is blogging.  Well, and writing.  Last week I was so unmotivated to sit down and tap out a diary entry or a new chapter that I persuaded myself it would be a good idea to start exercising instead, and I began a couch-to-5K program.  The dog is happy, as she loves the exercise. The kid is less thrilled, as he is about as big a fan of sweating and panting as I am. And I'm not sure I have much interest in actually running a 5K, which sort of diminishes my motivation.  Which do I hate more: running or writing? I guess it'll depend on the day.  Besides, the Nats are looking good for the postseason, plus there are lots of movies in my Netflix.  Perhaps TV will win again. Because, yeah, that would be a shock....