The Average Blogger

Second Gear, I Lean Right

Except for the facts that I own a Toyota and I don't like motorcycles, the rest of this Beach Boys lyric fits fairly well. Things are moving along, and I certainly do not keep left. 

So, although it doesn't seem like much happened, I feel as if a wave is coming in that I'll be able to ride for a while.  The yard is in good shape and I'm working up the energy to do a lot of spray-washing and waterproofing and bleeblah, perhaps this weekend. I really need to take a day off work and clean my house. It is scandalous, as a result of staying up til 4 and 5 a.m. and spending all my time working on the book.

But!  The payoff of those late hours is that I have officially completed my first round of revisions and placed my manuscript in the hands of a capable editor friend and a noted local history buff. I have every confidence that these two people will save me from myself. 

The rest of the weekend was lovely, as well. On Friday, I set my nose to the microfiche grindstone at the library and found two final puzzle pieces on my narrative that I had been seeking for months, then had lunch with NeighborGirl.  On Saturday, my boys graciously came along with me for a tour of the Brentsville jail—and I think even the Young Prince was a little impressed with the tour and the vibe. I really do hope that I can work this so that publication of the book and the jail opening come close to coinciding.  We went to the Nationals game on Sunday and even the YP got interested in the game, although he also read his book for a couple innings.  Monday was yard work and naps. 

The other big thing I did this weekend is I bought an "electronic foot file," which is basically a big dremel to sand down heel calluses.  I go barefoot as much as I am able, though I wear shoes all winter, and every spring my feet are ... Not Attractive, let's say.  And I have tried everything—creams, pumice stones, those callus razors—and nothing was ever particularly effective, so I figured this might be good money after bad, but I am a slave to consumerism. I didn't even wait to get home, I fired it up in Not Your Average Blogger's car. This led to much dismay on his part, as the thing was actually quite effective and soon his front dash was coated in a layer of powder-fine foot-dust (a material that you really don't want to think very much about, trust me). After an hour of steady work on my part (and piles and piles of said dust, it is a VERY messy process), my heels are the nicest they have been since I was a teen-ager. Even NYAB commented on them, and he is not particularly verbal regarding most of my self-improvement projects. So, yes, I endorse this one, wholeheartedly.

And now I face another week of work, though I hope to spend some of my off-hours putting a dent in non-paid work that will beautify the other spots of my life. I imagine a fair amount of this will be put off in favor of harassing the YP as he practices piano, however. I'm sure he will be delighted if he reads this. 

Dusting off the Skills

Well, that's six months of blogging I'll never get back. 

But there's always the possibility for change, right?  I suppose I must be in an optimistic mood or something, because the idea of using the new year to make resolutions and improve myself is really strong this year.  

I've been referring to 2014 as The Year I Quit.  And I did so in bangup fashion. I barely blogged. I avoided a lot of social media. I didn't finish my book. I blew off all the holidays, I ignored my flowerbed, I let things fall apart and didn't care much about fixing them. 

What did I do?  I think it is fair to say I bore the brunt of homeschooling the Young Prince for six months, and then tag-teamed with NYAB and a summer-long camp on improving the boy's Social Acumen. I worked absurd hours for a salaried job that gets a 95 percent approval rating from me and that I am happy to have. I traveled. I texted. I did a lot of laundry and a fair amount of housekeeping. 

Other people did things. We went to our timeshare and Not Your Average Blogger played a lot of golf, while the YP and I swam and the YP did a zip line. We all went tubing. Then we went to DragonCon and the YP was very excited to be recognized from the previous year. The YP started middle school, and so far it has been a glorious experience, up to and including drum lessons. NYAB got his book published and has done several signings and lectures, which has been a lot of fun for all of us. We visited my family for Thanksgiving and had a wonderful time, and we went to Florida for Christmas where we all caught terrible colds but still managed to recharge our batteries and spend a lot of time with some wonderful friends.   

That last paragraph aside, I also found myself somewhat less happy than in years past. I gained weight, as usual. So, I plan to turn a lot of everything from last year on its head this year, and I have many baby-step plans to do so. 

1: Eating. This has been a terrible problem in our household. NYAB and I overindulge, while the YP is underweight to a worrisome degree and shows no interest in improving himself. That makes this priority one. Everyone gets a better relationship with food for the outcomes they desire. Parallel to this will be exercise.  We all need to get out and Do More Stuff, whether it's walking or biking or actually putting one of those workout videos into the player.

2: Writing. The main thing, of course, is to finish my book. I am pretty sure I can actually accomplish that this year, though I should have done so last year. And the nice thing is, I already have the next project lined up, and it will be a much easier thing to blast through. I also hope to blog more. The minimum goal is one hour a week here and one on the writing blog (plus showing up more on Goodreads). Of course, that also means I need to read more -- for me, not for work. 

3: And speaking of work -- my one resolution last year was to do less of it, and that didn't really work out. I intend to be much more disciplined about it this year. It might mean rejiggering my schedule, or it might mean a psychological breakdown when I have to put something down midsentence, but taking the path of least resistance and just working on everything all the time last year didn't do me any favors professionally and hurt me a bit personally. So there's that. 

4: Be more engaged on everything else.  My big goals on this one are to beautify my home to the degree it is financially possible and to acknowledge birthdays on Facebook. Small steps, but mine own. The house thing is easy; I have been stumping around here for 10 years thinking about things I could do to make the place prettier and lower-maintenance. Now I just need to find cheap ways to do them. I haven't spent as much time cultivating my personality on social media, but I have spent a fair amount of time looking at how others use it, and judging them harshly. What this has taught me about myself is that I do not like people who use Secret Groups to bitch about their families or jobs, that I do not like people who post cryptic notes that are clearly pleas for attention, and that I definitely do not have time for any sort of bearbaiting, be it religious, political, ethnic or otherwise. I do like posts that make me laugh, that help me learn, that inspire me to be a better person. I think I do a pretty good job already of sloughing off the stuff I don't like and now I just need to work harder to give back on the things I do like, rather than just absorb them. 

This should all be doable, right?  Four goals, maybe a total of 20 hours a week? Totally doable!

To close the book on 2014, the same survey I do every year: 

1. What did you do this year that you'd never done before?
I rode an innertube down part of a river, which I'd never done before but would definitely do again. And while I didn't exactly DO this, I did have the pleasure of watching NYAB give a few talks about his book. 

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Epic Fail. Epic hope as stated above. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Several people. It makes me so happy when smart people breed.  

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Another year lucky on this one. 

5. What countries did you visit?
Just more of this one. The YP hit his 50th state, although he doesn't appear to remember much about many of them, which means we need to start over!

6. What would you like to have in the new year that you lacked this year?
Same as last year—more money, time, and patience. I'd also like to have a YP with a healthy body weight. 

7. What date from the year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My brain doesn't work this way. I don't remember dates. It's a bad trait for someone trying to write a history book. Notable events included the YP's first day of school and the day copies of NYAB's book showed up in the mail.   

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Quitting Everything. Not really an achievement, but the biggest thing. This was the year of big achievements for others.  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only the colds and barking coughs of winter break.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The spring break vacation. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? 
I always struggle with this question, because there are so many.  My parents, who put up with even more lunatic caregiving aspects than usual this year. The YP, who has flourished in middle school. NYAB, who has been as amazing as ever. Friends who handled health issues with style and humor. My friend Beth, who is always a few steps ahead of me on the path to grace—but not so far ahead I can't see how she got there, which makes her a fantastic guide.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? 
Too many Facebook people to mention. A lot of people who wouldn't shut up about Ferguson, on both sides.

14. Where did most of your money go? 
The usual. Bills, vacation, the house.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? 
Vacations. Time with NYAB and the YP.

16. What song will always remind you of this year?
It's not from this year, but the big song of our year was Come and Get Your Love by Redbone, thanks to the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack.  

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: 
i. happier or sadder? Meh. I wouldn't say I'm SAD, but definitely dissatisifed.  
ii. thinner or fatter? DUHHH.  
iii. richer or poorer? About the same.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? 
See last year: Writing. Reading. Playing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
See last year: Working.

20. How (did) you spend Christmas?
In Florida, soaking up rays and swim time.

21. Did you fall in love?
I rekindled a relatioship with Trader Joe's. We'll see how healthy that turns out to be.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
We got Hill Street Blues on video, and that wins, hands down. 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. I was too busy quitting to expend that much energy.

24. What was the best book you read? 
Well, Gone Girl was a nice, fast read. I'm not sure it was the best thing I read, but it was enjoyable.  

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No discoveries. This year was mostly exposing the YP to old favorites. Although Weird Al's Word Crimes made me extremely happy.

26. What did you want and get? 
The YP to have a good entry to middle school.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I think it was the Lego Movie. You can stop laughing now.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 43, stayed in town, was "drunk on margaritas and full of food"  and got beautiful jewelry from my parents and NYAB plus an amazing set of origami Doctor Who figures from the YP.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Well, finishing the book would have been nice, but that's what this year is for.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
I bought my first pair of winter boots since grade school. I like them, but it also reminded me that my legs are two different sizes—why is one boot easy to zip and the other one super snug? And I know I'm not the only one!  

31. What kept you sane? 
NYAB. Sleep. 

32. What political issue stirred you the most?
Nope, that's private. This is why I keep a personal offline diary.

33. Who did you miss?
My free time.

34. Who was the best new person you met?
I finally met a couple work people I'd only e-mailed and chatted with by phone before. That was interesting.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned: 
I got a little less afraid that the world would end if I didn't spend lots of time worrying about things, if that makes any sense.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Five o'clock in the morning
I'm up before the sun
When the workday is over
I'm too tired for havin' fun... 

 

Taking Stock

It's coming up on the first anniversary of my no-longer-new job, which means we are just past the anniversary of my blog unpleasantness, wherein I inadvertently torpedoed my chances for an overpaid space at the federal government food trough. 

It's funny, how much has changed since then.  The Blogger family has cut all daily ties to the organization that provided our livelihood for more than a decade.  The Young Prince had his worst and best year of school ever. I think we've come a long way, and learned a great deal.

It's also funny how much of an effect that experience had on me. And  I suppose there are others who would say I haven't learned a blasted thing. See, I have spent the past year wondering if maybe That Horrible Woman who didn't hire me was right, that my blogging was too cavalier, too revealing, altogether TMI. There have been countless times where I paused and thought, "I should write a blog post. Orrrrr, I could go throw up." And then I would busy myself with something else. 

The weird part is, I never thought that what I was writing was all that inappropriate. I've always thought I subscribed to the Davy Crockett philosophy: Be sure you're right, then go ahead. So it was alarming to me how very uncertain I suddenly was that I had been right. I suppose it's to be expected -- when someone slaps you in the face and calls you a whore, you're bound to be pulled up short, even if you're a church-going virgin. What? Where did that come from? Why on earth did they say that? 

This is especially true when you are confronted with such assertions just as your entire world is changing. I had a new job, and having just been slapped in the face by one workplace, I wasn't particularly anxious to inadvertently stick my face in the path of my new boss' oncoming open palm by blogging about some other thing I didn't realize was entirely off limits. So I second-guessed myself, I spent hours debating. I agonized. 

I've spent a year doing that. And I've concluded That Horrible Woman's lecture was one part valid, two parts nonsense, and one part purely insulting.

Perhaps I'm simply rationalizing, because the truth is, I've missed blogging. I couldn't stay away entirely -- I still used this space to sort out my thoughts about big events, to chronicle some family occasions. But I didn't do as much as I wanted to. 

So I've made a resolution to myself that I'm going to start this up again. Every week I will make time for it, and I will write whatever strikes me.  I want to have a space where my family can read about what's going on. I want a space to say nice things, to work things out, to serve as an archive so that the YP can go back in several years and gain insight or reminders to things he doesn't understand now or is likely to forget. And if that means I can't get a job at the CIA or that it lands me squarely in the category of "untrustworthy and indiscreet" as That Horrible Woman said, well, fine. That's the way it crumbles, cookiewise. 

I will start with this. I am bursting with pride about my family.  My dad's book hits stores soon. My husband is plowing through an effort that promises to join the ranks of extremely readable and interesting historical nonfiction. I'm in the last phase of a drastic reworking of one kid's novel, halfway through my first draft of a "new adult" novel, and thinking hard about reworking a project the hubs and I abandoned years ago. 

The YP did this last weekend.  And he wraps up fourth grade this week. And he's trucking off to sleepaway camp next weekend. And his head comes up to my collarbone. I don't know when all that happened.

Slowed to a Trickle

Too busy living to do much writing these days, and not much to report anyway.
JB is working and playing hard; he took a day off last week and when I got home he'd done a bunch of yard work and made dinner.

I'm working crazy hours and spend the rest of my time exhausted. I'm working on my first knitting project, which is turning out amusingly sloppy but recognizable as the intended object. Jelly making continues to go decently.  Working on the other blog is taking way more of my time than I thought it would.

The kid has swung wildly from hooligan to model citizen (and he lost another tooth), and he is thankfully and rapidly approaching the end of the school year. 

As a group we have attended a Civil War re-enactment, bought a new riding mower (that doesn't work yet,) gotten some home improvements tackled and let others slide.

In other words, it's been a pretty normal two weeks, despite being abnormally busy.

Congress recesses Friday, I hope.  If I don't see y'all before then, I'll do some heavy updating next week.