I've been a little uneven IRL the past couple weeks. Some days I was more manic than depressed. Others I was ready to out-Eeyore the Eeyorest people I know, including people I actually refer to Eeyore.
I fired someone this week. This is the second time I've had to do it, and I'm (a little) disturbed to say it was (a little) easier this time than last. Granted, it was also a more immediate thing -- last time the delay between the infraction and the consequence was so long as to be absurd and the guilt was huge.
But easier doesn't mean easy. I was horribly disappointed at how dreadfully wrong everything went.
(And because we all know that I have a big fat ego and everything is all about me, all the disappointment and situational angst aside, my brain also turned this into an across-the-board, top-level-management-on-down recognition by God and everyone of the fact that I am apparently ooh lala teh suck at reading people and distinguishing black holes from superstars.)
(And then, in turn, I get my hackles up, because while I can take criticism from certain corners, there are others that just piss me off and trigger a nearly violent "Excuse me?!? How dare you judge me? Who the hell do you think you are?" response that does not put me in a particularly collegial mood. Which is sort of important when one is attempting to be a good boss in a trying situation.)
Well, nowhere to go but up, right? Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
So yesterday I worked from home. Get a little distance. And free up that commute time. I had grand plans to work, do laundry, make 2 nights' worth of meals, take the kid to his violin lesson, work a second shift and still get 5 hours of sleep.
Well, I did manage the work. And the laundry. And I made tomato sauce. And the kid did make his violin lesson. But I also watched a movie, scanned a bunch of photos that now need color correcting (and who knows when that might happen?), failed to make the other dinner, and got hijacked by cranky computer systems for the second shift, so I didn't finish my work and only got 4 hours of sleep. Oh, and somewhere in there I also got a political remonstration on Facebook. Yay. Some days there aren't enough hours to drink enough alcohol, you know?
But guess what? The Young Prince LOVED that tomato sauce. This kid -- the one who won't willingly go near food that doesn't come out of a drive-through window or appear on a blue plastic tray that comes out of a box, this same kid -- sampled a taste and then demanded another heaping spoonful and then told me he was very excited at the idea of eating a whole plate of it.
Really, who needs more validation than that?? Not I, that's for sure.
Though I could probably do with a few more hours of sleep. And some mood enhancers.
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