Rats With Better Accessories

That's it. This means war.

You might recall a while back I posted that we had issues with squirrels in our attic. I don't think I ever posted that we did, in fact, have to bring the guys back out and pay upward of $700 for them to put a strip of metal all the way around our house where the walls meet the roof to keep the little buggers out.

I know I didn't post that they still skitter around and drive the neighbor's dog nuts.  The good one, the one that DOESN'T upend our trash can Every. Single. Tuesday.

And I know I didn't post that they are pretty brazen and will sit there and stare at you until you get almost within range of clubbing them with a big stick -- then, and only then, do they turn tail and run.

Well.

In a rare occurrence, I drove my car to work last week. And when I dropped off the YP at day care, I smelled gasoline.  Noooo, I thought. Last time this happened, the fuel line had a leak and it was a big hassle to give up the car to get it fixed. And I need a car tomorrow.  Maybe it's not my car.

I drove to my office. It was my car.  I found a puddle underneath. Smelled like gas, looked like oil, sounded like Cha-Ching for the mechanic.

So I drove it over to the guy, who said he'd look at it the next day.  I rearranged my schedule and begged NYAB to let me drop him at the subway so I could take the car and meet up with friends for a trip to the Baltimore zoo.

Next day, we are eating lunch in the shade of the elephants when I get an email from NYAB.

"You are going to love this," he wrote. "The guy says you need both fuel lines replaced.  Because they were chewed through."

BY SQUIRRELS.  The guy said it could possibly have been rats, but he suspected squirrels.

I said, "Well, jeez. What do we do about this? Start putting the car in the garage?"

NYAB writes back, 'Well, it certainly won't do any good to put it in the attic...."

La. On the plus side, it was less than a  car payment to fix.  I do wonder how long til they get chewed again, though.  I have all these revenge fantasies. Coating the underside of the car with poison. Camping out with a slingshot and a whole bunch of rocks.  Going to the pound and adopting all the cats and dogs and wolves I can find. Setting big vats of water with elaborate compression systems to drown the little buggers.

Or, you know, parking the damn cars in the garage and getting a damn shed for the damn riding mower. But isn't that letting the little terrorists win?

Comments

[Pop Cesspool]

The solution is definitely predators. Lots and lots of predators. There were several feral cats in our neighborhood over the past few summers. I suspect that a do-gooder neighbor had them captured. The same neighbor (I think) is the one who stuffed fliers in everybody's mailbox a few weeks ago ... to complain about the rat problem ... a problem that we didn't really have last summer when the cats were around. Maybe you can get Alley Cat Allies to loan you a few pusses for exurban use:

http://www.alleycat.org/

[ardentdelerium]

I like the idea of coating the fuel lines with rat poison.

or with capsaicin. although they might learn to like that the way my mom has learned to like wasabi.

[Lori]

I can't believe those little buggers did that! I hate calculative and manipulative creatures!

[Matt]

Maybe this will make you feel better: http://www.adamlofting.com/blog/index.php?id=28

Cats can solve any problem that involves killing small creatures.