Churchill Had a Black Dog ... Mine Is More Grayish ...

It's been a strange couple of weeks. I'm in a strange kind of mood. Not up, not down, just ... down-er than usual.

Work has been moderately more stressful. People are having to adapt to change, and some people get pretty snarky doing it. Everyone is bent out of shape about who is doing what, and who is no longer doing what, and how nobody is doing anything as well as they ought to, or as well as it used to get done, or blah blah blah. And I see more trouble on the horizon, as I think things will get worse before they get better.

Personally, all I've had to adjust to has been a slight schedule shift. For the past couple days, I've been seeing how it works out if I get up at 4 and into the office at 5 instead of just logging on to work from home, then commuting in for a 10-6 shift. On the up side, I have been leaving the office a bit earlier. But there have been problems and questions on a range of issues in my absence -- issues over which I have some to zero control. And I am way more tired than usual, which means I'm not communicating very well and my resistance to malcontents and misanthropes is lower -- which is bad, given that there are more of them right now, as mentioned above.

This experiment also has me wondering what is going to happen when I really DO commit to 8-hour workdays and whether I will have to take a pay cut for doing less than I do now in my usually 10-12 hours of paying attention.

And all that? That's me having it pretty damn good, and being awfully damn lucky.

I have one friend whose 4-year-old has cancer. I have another friend who miscarried over the weekend. The YP started T-ball over the weekend, and today I found out that one of his teammates' dad also has cancer. 

Everyone in my family -- even my extended family -- is strong and healthy (to my knowledge, anyway). We are fiscally solvent. I have incredible friends. I have a job that I like, even if things are dodgy in the short term. I'm lucky. I just wish I were doing more to deserve it.

Comments

[Lori]

Don't feel guilty about being blessed or lucky. I know what you mean though. Nothing is going wrong in my life and it's hard to just accept that without feeling guilty. I mean, of course, things could be better, but nothing is wrong.

And, not to be a pessimist, but sooner or later something bad will happen. I like to think that everyone's life eventually evens out to some extent.