Broken Hearts, Mending Mornings

"YP -- you missed the trash can. Throw that wrapper away."
"Right! I don't want to be a litterbox!"
"Box? No, bug. LitterBUG."
"Yeah, I don't want to be one of those either."

The YP had a crisis yesterday. His best friend from last year "broke up" with him because he was playing with some other kid.  Details were vague, but the best I could pull together was that YP and 1st-Grade-Friend were playing Pirates of the Caribbean, and Kindergarten-Friend wanted to play. YP said sure, but (and this is where it gets fuzzy,) for some reason KF didn't. Either she didn't hear him tell her to join in, or she saw he was playing with 1GF and stomped off.  In the next part of the story that made any sense, KF told YP in gym class that if he was going to play with 1GF, then she was through with him.  He said his heart hurt. He said he didn't cry, but he was very sad. Then he said that it was fine, he would play with her the next day and she'd be his friend again.

"Wait a minute. Nonono. 1GF didn't do anything wrong, did he? He didn't yell at her or push her or tell her she couldn't play, did he?"
"No. They've just hated each other since last year. I don't know why."
"Well, I don't think you should let KF tell you who you can and can't play with. If you want to play with 1GF, you go right ahead."
"But KF won't be my friend if I don't play with her."
"Well, that's her choice, not yours. Look. If Daddy came home and said he was going golfing with Dave, and I said, Then I won't be your wife anymore, would that be nice?"
"No."
"And if I came home and told Daddy that I was going to have a drink with Susan and he said, Then don't bother ever coming back, would that be nice?"
"No."
"No. So why is it OK for KGF to tell YOU that? Why don't you tell her if she's really your friend, she'll understand when you play with other friends, and maybe she should try playing with them too?"
"I don't know. She wanted to play today, but then she didn't."
"Well, why don't you try again tomorrow and see if they'll both play with you?"
"I could ask them to both play with me?"
"Yes."
"What if they don't?"
"Then YOU decide who YOU want to play with, and tell the other person that you're still friends and you would love to play with them later. Or take turns. But that you really wish all three of you could be friends."
"I can tell them I want us all to be friends?"
"Of course!"
"Right! We've got to put this heart back together!"

I don't know where he comes up with this stuff. I'm guessing the Electric Company.

And yet, childhood drama aside, this morning was one of the best mornings we've had in a while. Nothing spectacular happened, no hosannas were sung, no breakthroughs occurred.  But my early-shift work proceeded without any glitches, everyone woke up on time, in a good mood, ready to meet the day with humor and grace. Breakfast was a happy affair with jokes and laughing. The kid ran off to the bus with a smile on his face. NYAB and I had ten minutes of peace together to just sit and Be, and think that yes, this. This is what it's about. This is why we do what we do, to be able to sit here together in our living room looking out at the trees in the back yard and be happy that our kid is smart and healthy and assertive and engaged.

All signs are pointing to hard, hard times ahead at work. It is inevitable that some people will lose their jobs. It is inevitable that the people who don't will probably work harder than they ever have and in more stressful conditions than before. I'm reasonably certain I fall into the latter category, and I'm grateful for it. But I'm also worried about how much worse things will get before they get better, and how unhappy how many people are likely to be for how long. Unlike my gung-ho little diplomat, I am not particularly well-versed in the reconstruction of hearts.  I'm better with courage. I'm no Henry V, but I'm ready to ride to the sound of the guns. What I don't know is if I'll be riding alone. 

But it helps to have mornings like this one reminding me why I keep getting out of bed to face such days as the ones ahead.

Comments

[cosmiccamper]

Oh well, it's good for him to learn about the eccentricities of women while he's young :)