A Date With Destiny

OK, I think you guys know I try to keep the Stupid Kid Tricks to a minimum here -- or at least try to space them out with other posts. But when an incident presents itself as a prewritten blogpost, complete with title, AND it is a landmark event like his first call from a girl ... well, I just have to run with it.

Yesterday as the Young Prince was getting off the bus, I heard the bus driver say, "Ohhh, we've got a budding romance here, wait, YP, don't get so excited you forget your backpack ..." but the YP is always yapping about some girl or another on the bus, and basically what I wound up hearing was "Blah blah blah, backpack."

Ten minutes later, we are home and our phone rings. 

Me: "Hello?"
Caller: "Hieeeeee Boyyyyyfrieeeeend!"
Me: "Wha?"
Caller: "Boyyyyfrieeeend?"
Me: "Who IS this?"
Caller: "Destineeeeee."
Me: "Who?? Uh, YP, I am assuming this for you." (We have a very loud phone, so I could still hear what ensued after I handed over the receiver.)
YP: "Hello?"
Destiny: "Heeeeeeey Boyyyyyyfrieeeeeend!!!!"
YP: "Mom, I have no idea who this is."
Destiny: "It's DESTINY!"
YP: "Oh. Uhhhh, hi."
(Unintelligible.)
(YP sort of wallerwallers something back under his breath.)
Destiny: "Are you going to play? Can we play today?"
YP: "Uhhh sure. That sounds good."
Destiny: "At your house?"
YP: "Sure. Come on over."
Destiny: "Where do you live?"
YP: "Virginia. In Haymarket."
Destiny: "But ... no. Where do you LIVE?"
YP: "IN VIRGINIA."
Destiny: "No, how do you get there?"
YP: "Oh. On the bus."

At this point I decide this has gone on long enough, especially since I have no idea who this girl is, if her mother is home, and oh, by the way, YP, you are supposed to ASK before you have people over and in fact it is not all right tonight because you have a violin lesson.

So I tell the YP to say goodbye and give me the phone. He does exactly this, not even giving Destiny a chance to respond. I then ask to talk to Destiny's mom. Who is all, "Oh, we just moved here 2 weeks ago. She was so excited, she had me dial the number, but I don't think she knew his name. All the paper said on it was 'Boyfriend.' I'll tell her what his real name is." 

Then I say, well, it sounds like they were planning a playdate, but today is no good. And she goes on about how, oh, well, we could do it tomorrow and go to the park, and there's so little to do here compared with where we used to live, and oh, there was this park and we used to work there (wha?) and blahblah chatter chatter very excited her daughter has a friend cakes.

But all I can think is, um, hello? You want to go where tomorrow? Have you BEEN outside? It is 20 degrees and supposed to be colder tomorrow. Do you drink heavily during the afternoons?

Later I ask the YP about Destiny.

"Oh, well, she is my girlfriend."
"I thought Sophia was your girlfriend."
"She is my girlfriend in class. Destiny is my bus girlfriend. It used to be Brianna, but we broke up."
"It used to be ... Bri-who-wa?"
"BRIANNA. You know. I called her Briannie."
"I have never heard of Brianna. Or Briannie. Is that why you broke up?"
"Yeah, because I called her that. She has a new boyfriend, but she won't tell me who it is."
"Oh. Well, does Sophia know you have a bus girlfriend?"
"Yeah."
"What did she say?"
"She said, 'Great! That's fun!'" (NYAB interjects: My kind of girl!)
"Hm. Does she have a bus boyfriend?"
"No. She has a bus girlfriend." (NYAB: DEFINITELY my kind of girl!)
"Hm. Well, what does Sophia think of Destiny insofar as you getting married?"
"We can't get married, Mama. Everyone in school says you can't marry someone you know."

It was at this point I simply gave up. 

I wonder if I'm going to the park this afternoon. I wonder if Destiny will turn out to be Density. I wonder ... I guess I'll find out.

Comments

[lane]

was so excited, she had me dial the number, but I don't think she knew his name. All the paper said on it was 'Boyfriend.' I'll tell her what his real name is
What I love about this, is that it is probably the EXACT same thing Destiny's coworkers or (if she's lucky) sorority sisters will be giggling into the phone after another of her boozy nights in the club. Only, they'll be reading the phone number off her forearm.

[Sparkling Cipher]

You're allowed a different boyfriend/girlfriend for each place you go? Why am I always the last to figure theses things out? I need to catch up and get myself a work boyfriend. And a carpool boyfriend. And a grocery store boyfriend.

Good thing I don't go many places. I don't think I'd be able to keep them all straight.