Hypocrisy, Thy Name Is Mama

Dear Young Prince,

So, on Friday you came home from school with a conduct note, like every day.  Some days you are a quality student. More often than not, you get marked off for talking.  Friday you got marked off for hitting.

When I asked you about it, you said this girl E. was bossing you around and you said, "Stop being bossy," and she said, "you didn't say please," and turned and tossed her hair in your face.  So you slapped her on the back. 

And maybe you'll even remember the very big lecture you got from me -- and then again, almost verbatim, from your father -- about how people don't go around hitting their classmates, and especially boys don't hit girls, and yes, WE occasionally spank you when you misbehave, but we also throw away your DVDs and put you in time out and you don't do any of that to E., because we are grownups and you are not and we are your parents and you are not E's dad and it is our job to decide when and how YOU get punished and that is not your job with E, your job is to either get along with her or leave her alone and blablabla, and the next time she is bossy just say, "You aren't the teacher. Leave me alone," and turn YOUR back on HER.

What you won't know for probably 10 more years is that the entire time we were telling you this, all I could think was, "Man, I woulda smacked that li'l bitch too. Probably a lot harder than you did."

I hope this makes you feel better in your old age.

Comments

[lane]

Sign me up for thinking my kindergarten self would have wanted to lay the smackdown.

A girl I friended on Facebook from elementary school wrote on my wall "Do you remember punching me in the stomach in 3rd Grade?" I swear she is remembering the wrong kid, but if I did punch her, I wonder what she did to deserve it?

Know who I wanted to punch? Sissy Deaton. She pulled my skirt down in the middle of the hallway while we were lined up next to the boys. That was in 3rd Grade, too.

[modernfairie]

Awwwww - my poor little man.

Next time - hit her in the face. That's where the mouth is. If you want the bossy to stop coming out of her mouth, that's where you have to hit.

I'm just kidding.

I'm Buddhist. So, I do not support physical violence. He should have used his words. Or simply walked away and ignored her. She is only bossy to him because she knows he will pay attention (and be upset). If he stops listening to her, she won't try to boss him around anymore because she will have lost her power.

But...
I would have hit her in the face.