The Average Blogger

One Month...

That is how much time my mom has given herself to plan and execute a party for my grandparents' anniversary. 

This is a woman who will spend six hours in a store debating which of the three available light fixtures she should buy, and then leave without buying any of them, and leave a big bare hole in the ceiling for six more months before she goes to another store to repeat the process.

I don't think she's going to make it.  Not without medication, anyway.

One month is also the amount of time left before the deadline for the County Fair's Hershey Cocoa Classic baking contest.  That is how much time I have to perfect my bacon-chocolate-chocolate-chip-cookie recipe.

I am a woman who will bake cookies and then be so exhausted from the effort I won't even bother eating any for at least 24 hours.

I don't know that I'm going to make it. Not without lots of milk, anyway.

I wonder if I can ship a batch of cookies to the party?

To a Man With a Hammer, Everything Looks Like a Nail

"Mama, have you seen the movie The Eliminators?"
"Uh, no."
"Why haven't you seen it?"
"I don't know. Why haven't you seen Citizen Kane?"
"Well, does it have a spaceship in it?"
"No, it has a sled."
"Is the sled a time travel machine?"
"No."
"Well, that's why I haven't seen it."

Progress

We were in Indiana last week for NYAB's mom's funeral. She will be missed, for her snark and her rolls and her jelly and her ability to push her kids' buttons. The process of people saying goodbye to her left me loving some people more than ever and totally impressed with them, and even more disappointed than ever in others.  That's about all I have to say about that.

Dreadful news about the death (ruled a homicide) of a wife of a guy I dated in high school. I haven't seen him in 17 years, but needless to say he's been on my mind.

In more upbeat news: The YP officially ties his shoes unassisted now. No small feat for a child raised on velcro and bare feet. He also has progressed from last year, in that he can fit book titles in the space provided on his Official Library Summer Reading List Sheet.  And he can now count to 10 in four languages, two of them relatively useless.

Work is still work.  Still waiting to hear the official sale announcement -- and expecting to wait even longer to learn WTF that announcement means in any real sense.

The house is clean. The yard is in decent shape, for about 45 more seconds until I have to weed again.

We have minor plans for the 4th -- going to a neighboring town and watching fireworks in a park.

Have a good holiday, y'all.